I need a drink.: Archive

openwidelife asked: Happy New Year Rob!!!!

Jan 1st

1 tag

Why are people hoping for a better 2011?

They’re just going to bitch about it in a week anyway. Some people are just never satisfied.

Jan 1st

2 tags

Dec 31st

2 notes

Every time I say "whatevs" it becomes less ironic.

Dec 31st

@ivanwantspeace, stoned-on-toast, punchcunts and...

Thanks for the suggestions. I’m not much of a wine person, but after tonight who knows.

Dec 30th

1 tag

At my friend's wine party.

Me: Did you just smoke?
Jesse: No.
Me: ...
Jesse: Ha, I can't bullshit you.
Me: I didn't know you smoked.
Jesse: Yeah, I've done it in front of you plenty of times. 
Me: No you haven't. Wait, unless it's at the end of the night.
Jesse: Yeah, that's usually when. Well that explains why you never knew.
Me: Yeah, I'm usually passed out by then.
Jesse: Yeah on my couch, toilet or kitchen table. 
Me: The kitchen table was one time.

Dec 30th

I don't know why

but eggo minis taste better than regular sized eggos.

Dec 30th

1 tag

Dec 30th

15 notes

Dec 30th

113 notes

Dec 30th

368 notes

1 tag

Dec 30th

1 note

Dec 30th

232 notes

Watch

My friend’s my fair wedding episode is going to air on January 9th at 9pm on we tv. It’s the season premiere. The title is “A Phantom of a Wedding.” Try and guess which one is my friend.

Dec 30th

When people tell me they miss me I tend to not...

My incredulity is justified 99.99% of the time.

Dec 29th

1 note

So I'm invited to a wine party tomorrow night.

I don’t like wine. Any suggestions on what to bring?

Dec 29th

Dec 28th

202 notes

Dec 28th

682 notes

Dec 27th

45 notes

1 tag

Dec 27th

25 notes

2 tags

Dec 27th

258 notes

Dec 25th

151 notes

Dec 25th

24 notes

2 tags

And let us not forget what Christmas is truly...

Dec 25th

2 notes

1 tag

Tamales.

Dec 24th

2 tags

I hate being pressured to do something I don't...

I wasn’t even hungry.

Dec 23rd

Chocolate chip cookies.

Just made a batch. Bitches say what?

Dec 23rd

Dec 22nd

3,222 notes

Dec 22nd

7,734 notes

4 tags

Why does everyone assume he or she won't become a...

Dec 20th

1,265 notes

2 tags

Dec 20th

Remember how my friend's wedding was on that tv...

Well the season premiere is January 2nd on we tv. I don’t know exactly when the episode will air, but it’s the Murray/Fleener wedding and it’s a phantom of the opera theme. I probably won’t even be edited into the episode, but you never know. I was wearing this. And yes, I just made her wedding about me.

Dec 20th

1 tag

So I wanted to make alcoholic cupcakes, Screw...

But my mom said no. Damn alcoholic relatives.

Dec 20th

2 notes

1 tag

Dec 20th

2,251 notes

1 tag

I am not random.

I don’t do, say or (consciously) think random things. I don’t even have a Facebook photo album named “random”. Everything I do, say or (consciously) think has rhyme and/or reason to it. If something unexpected happens I call it just that, unexpected, not random. I know it’s cute, acceptable and almost expected to use random as an adjective to describe one’s...

Dec 18th

1 tag