Epic - Having an amusing time isn’t epic. Nor is seeing a movie or going to see an obscure band you don’t even like play. This is by far the most grossly misunderstood word.

Random - Not even random number generators are random. What makes you think you are?

Psychological - Taking an introductory psychology class and assuming Freud and dream analysis are the gist of it is just academically criminal.

Fact (especially when used in conjunction with the above word) - You clearly believe anything on the Internet. You probably even believe there are local hotties in your area who want to chat. And when this word is used in conjunction with the one above it, it’s as if you actually believe it and intend in passing on your “knowledge” you acquired from the Internet.

“Just lost a follower. I don’t really care though.” - Then why did you take the time out of your clearly busy life to even mention it? You know what, don’t tell me. I don’t really care.

Photography - Owning a dslr and taking a few pictures with it hardly constitutes talent. Although I suppose getting a few notes on tumblr is all the validation and confirmation of your “ability” you need. Instagram doesn’t hurt either, especially since you’re not a hipster.

“tmi” - If you’re offended, shocked and appalled that your followers would ask you such  questions regarding your penis’ characteristics and history after asking them to send you “tmi” questions, you can easily solve the problem you created by simply stopping.

Apocalypse - It’s an apocalypse. The implication is that everyone is dead, or in accordance with tumblr, a fucking zombie. Those who do manage to survive are most likely in shape and not on tumblr all day talking about how awesome the zombie apocalypse would be and how the item to their left would be their only weapon. And just because you have a dream team in mind, what makes you think any of them want you? 

Credit - Good for you, you did the google image search yourself. (a thanks to stoned-on-toast for this one.)

“I post what I like. I don’t care what other people think.” - You clearly do care, and you probably don’t just post what you like, but also what you hope will spark interest from others and get them to reblog and follow you. If you truly didn’t care what people thought, you wouldn’t have searched for a platform to get your thoughts across the Internet and to a mass audience. And even though a remarkably micro sized portion of Internet users will ever see your page even once, you remain oblivious to that fact and still want your reblogged quotes and pictures to inspire.

Tumblr - You’re convinced it’s a sophisticated platform for sharing ideas, thoughts and creativity. (Well except the new dashboard. Fuck that. It’s really something to go to war over.) But really it’s just a glorified version of Facebook, which is just a glorified version of myspace. And really, it isn’t much different than real life despite the general consensus that it is. The most attractive people are the most popular, there are several cliques depending on what people are into and the people with something interesting or unpopular to say in a non-abrasive way generally go ignored. But we can all at least agree that tumblr is impossible to quit for the stupidest of reasons of which we aren’t quite sure.